


'Unwanted' Memories

by Pkay11



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-17 05:45:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10587657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pkay11/pseuds/Pkay11
Summary: Five years after the events of ATWT, Luke is now in his mid-20s. His life is going relatively smoothly, but that changes when he meets an old 'friend'...*NOTE - I am not the owner of As the World Turns.





	1. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke is awaiting a text.

Luke was relaxing in his New York City home, finishing up his latest article. He was eagerly awaiting a text from a old lover of his - one Noah Mayer. Noah had been living in California for some time, but they had kept in contact...and how couldn't they, after all they had been through together. They still considered each other the best of friends, soulmates in fact. Damn, they'd known each other for eight years now. 

The odd thing was that Luke didn't really *need* to receive this particular text - it would be far easier for him to log onto to any news website, or to switch on the TV. But he couldn't, he just couldn't, he'd be a pile of nerves. Ironic, given that the article he was writing was directly related to the matter that Noah was to text him about.

Suddenly, the sound of his cheesy ringtone - the tune of 'Waterloo' by ABBA. That wouldn't set any gaydar off at all...no siree...

Luke, glancing at the screen, rose his eyebrows.

"We've done it baby! It's ours!"

A large, beaming smile then began to dominate his face.

He thought it a good time to switch on the TV.

"Welcome back to CNN's coverage of this historic day. Just a few minutes ago, the Supreme Court of the United States effectively ruled that same-sex marriage is now legal in all fifty states." 

Luke put the almost-finished draft - of his latest article for the New York Times, about the history of the fight for marriage equality, - to one side. He sat back in his couch.

"Today is a good day", he thought.


	2. It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke is making his way in the world, but he's about to get a rude awakening.

Colours, lots of colours. Well, there would be. This was New York City's annual LGBT Pride March, and being just 48 hours after the historic Supreme Court ruling, the colours were running more 'fabulously' than usual. 

Luke had, in recent times, gained a greater appreciation of the wider LGBT community and became more open about his sexuality in general. 

Sure, he'd always liked 'gay' music, sure, he'd always donated to the relevant organizations, sure, he's always been more likely than the likes of Noah and the late Reid to trigger people's gaydars, but it just seemed as if he was really living it now. 

But, then again, he was living in the cultural hotbed of NYC now, as opposed to that stuffy Middle America town of Oakdale, one where breathing too indiscreetly felt unwelcome. 

He was a regular at several gay bars in the Manhattan area, he liked to visit Greenwich Village often to remind himself of the sacrifices of past generations and by now he had seen uncountable LGBT-themed movies, even incredibly obscure ones. His favorite was perhaps "Beautiful Thing" - a 1990s British film about two guys in London discovering and appreciating their sexuality and identity.

Oh, and he was writing more and more about LGBT issues in his columns, as opposed to more general liberal stuff. 

But he was single, still single. That somehow mattered less to him than it used to. It mattered, oh for sure it mattered, but for now his focus was the wider scene. 

And honestly, bad memories still lingered. Noah and all that came with that, Reid and all that came with that. Which is to say nothing of his parents, of Damian, of the constant shit that went on back home. 

The sky was exquisite. A crisp blue. He gazed at it like nothing else mattered, like he had become a first-class citizen at last. In all fairness, he and so many others around him just had.

Marching, marching, much much marching. Luke was wearing a standard rainbow vest, and was helping to carry a long flag of the same colour set-up. Two other guys stood beside him. Paul and Chen, two people he had gotten to know well. These two guys knew Luke well too. 

Incredibly well in fact. 

Because yes, while Luke was in no mood for love, not in the more traditional sense of the word, it certainly did not mean that he wasn't in the mood for it in the more modern sense. Not in any kind of extreme kind of way, of course, just in the satisfying way.

And then that ABBA ringtone suddenly made itself known again.

"Hey honey, how are you?"

"Hey, mom. I'm...I'm okay, ya know. Just so so. Not a lot going on."

pause

"You always were an expert in sarcasm weren't you? But sweetie, I am SO happy for you! Equality, finally! Heh, 15 years ago, I would never have imagined myself reacting to this wonderful news in this way."

"Yeah, er, you weren't exactly Harvey Milk about my coming out."

"No I wasn't, and I will forever regret that, what I said, about how terrible I made you feel."

"Mom, I don't hold that against you. Look at the polls. In these past ten years, literally tens of millions of Americans have become enlightened. There are many LGBT people across the country who are suffering due to bad, intolerant parents. You are not one of those, and I will forever appreciate that. I love you."

"Aw, honey. I love you too. You must be at the LGBT march right now huh?"

"Absolutely. It's historic, so historic. I love this place."

"I know. Anyway, enough from me, you take care now huh?"

"Sure mom, thanks for calling."

The march continued, the fantastic sounds continued. This was a dream come true. 

And then the dream, as it were, came to an end. 

Luke and his friends, as well as just about everyone else, noticed an intrusive noise from their left.

"SINNNERS, SINNERS, SINNERS."

As a writer, Luke was almost as offended at the chanters' lack of creativity as their vile bigotry.

Doing their best to ignore these cretins, Luke continued to march. March, that is, until he abruptly stopped in his tracks, once again glancing towards the group of chanters.

No.

No.

No.

It couldn't be.

Not him.


	3. Seeking a helping hand...or voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke remains in shock at his discovery on the march.

"I can't believe this, I just can't."

Luke was talking to his cousin Jade, the one who he'd 'dated' in a particularly pathetic attempt to cover up his real self.

"He...he...was it really him?"

"Luke, I think you're deluding yourself about him. He was always a creep. I got to know him a little, remember?"

"Yeah...yeah...but..."

"But what? But who? You can't even say his name can you?"

"K..."

"Kevin! Kevin, Luke, his name is Kevin."

"Yeah, that's his name."

"And he's a homophobic jerk."

"And I used to..."

"You used to love him, Luke. You used to love him. Stop making me repeat myself, jeez."

"And get drunk with him. And steal an election from him."

"How long ago was all that anyway? When you and I were a so-called couple?"

"I...er...don't know. Maybe like ten years?"

"Yes, yes, ten years Luke. And that is apparently the amount of time that the Doctor whatshisname has sent your brain back to."

"Doctor whatshisname?"

"From Back to the Future, dammit!"

"Oh, Professor Brown."

"You always were a bigger movie buff than me, babe."

"Great movie...I loved all of those actually. So funny, so..."

"LUKE! Your mind is wandering!"

"I thought you implied that this obsession with...with what...I saw at the march...yesterday...was undesirable."

"Well it's clearly going to dominate your mind no matter what crap you say about Professor whatever. What I want to do is remind you of how awful this so-called friend of yours was, so that your head can be cleared of him."

"He's so hot, I mean very much my type...I always like the taller guys...Reid...Noah..."

"Luke! What did you like about this guy? What's so special about him?"

"...so fucking hot. Man, he's..."

"He's a damn homophobe Luke!"

"Uh."

"Let me ask you again. What are the good things about Kevin? What's appealing about him? Him being hot doesn't count."

"He was my soulmate...during that time...when I was hidden...away...in the closet."

"Right, we're getting somewhere. It occurs to me that this was before all the awful stuff with Noah. And Reid."

"Awful stuff?"

"The tragedies, the heartbreak. Things were less stressful for you back then."

"Jade, I was a drinking closet case!"

"...and compared to the later stuff, that's heavenly. And, perhaps this is the important factor. I still think there's a part of you that wants this guy to be gay. Well, he's not, he's straight, and a homophobe to boot."

"Huh, really, you know it all huh I guess."

"Yep. Anyway, I have to go know. We'll talk more tomorrow. You have to let this guy go Luke."

 

* * *

 

But Luke wasn't about to let this issue go, in fact he felt a spurt of energy that he hadn't experienced since the Oakdale days. 

 

Luke Snyder knew what was happening and he knew what needed to be done. 

 

For you see, Luke Snyder was an expert on this matter. 

 


	4. Dealing with it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of both principle and desire, Luke attempts to deal with an issue.

Fall was approaching. Luke still had Kevin Davis on his mind, but for now he was getting on with his life. It had been weeks since that march, and that unwanted reminder of his past that came with it.

Or was it unwanted?

The Kevin stuff was less unpleasant than much of the other stuff, after all.

But whatever. Right now he was enjoying a coffee in Starbucks.

And then, inevitably, it happened.

In he came.

Kevin.

Sure, it was random, sure it was out of the blue.

But then so had that sighting of him amongst the nutcases in June.

Luke's heart rate hardly changed.

But now, he needed to deal with it.

Kevin didn't notice Luke at all. He merely went up to the counter while Luke was sat at a table at the other end of the room. Just as well, Luke thought, as Kevin might have quickly fled the scene. Luke decided to approach him.

"Kevin?"

He looked up at Luke, audibly gasping.

"Long time no see, huh?"

Kevin cleared his throat. "Uh, er, wow yeah it has been. How are you Luke?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm good, just you know, chilling."

Luke smiled knowingly. "Chilling huh? What exactly is your purpose in NYC?"

Kevin paused for a moment. "Oh, I moved here a year ago, job stuff you know."

Luke gathered his thoughts too. "Job huh. What else do you do?"

"I, er, like to drink coffee I guess." He gave a vague and nervous laugh.

Luke went for it. "And to hang around with homophobic assholes?"

Kevin felt a chill run through his spine. "Uh, um, er...I have certain religious convictions but I'm no homophobe. I thought we were past that?"

"So did I my friend, so did I."

A silence emerged between them for a few seconds, then Kevin spoke up.

"Look, Luke, it's been nice seeing you again but I've gotta go."

Luke reached out to Kevin's shoulder...

"Kevin, if there's anything you want to ta..."

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME, FAGGOT!"

Several customers turned to assess the situation.

Luke was flabbergasted.

The F-word...

Kevin had used it previously, in a drunken state during a trip to a lake when they were younger. Luke's mind instantly flashed back to that day.

Kevin stormed out. Luke decided it an appropriate time to make another text.

"Hello Jade...you were right."

Luke pondered for a few minutes and then headed home. 

This was going to be more difficult than he ever had imagined.


	5. Sitting Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke takes part in perhaps his most interesting conversation since the Oakdale days.

Luke had just arrived home from yet another night out with his gay friends. The funny thing is that he has not had a drop of alcohol since coming to this city, despite once being something along the general lines of an alcoholic. Sure, the main reason was that he was fully aware what damage alcohol could do to him internally, but that hadn't stopped him in the long ago past from making the stupid decision to down a load of beer or spirits or whatever.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Luke opened it.

Kevin.

"Uh, hi Luke."

Luke was baffled. 

"How on earth did you know where I live?"

"I guess I...uhhh...kind of followed you?"

"Followed me from where?"

"From...that bar."

Luke thought out the implications of what he was saying.

"You...were there?"

"Uh huh."

Luke himself hadn't been to the bar very often. It was kind of 'out of his way' as it were. He preferred other gay bars.

"So...Kevin...you were at a gay bar."

"Well...yeah. I mean...not unusual is it?"

Luke pondered. 

"For a guy who's acey straight? No...no...no...not unusual...at all."

Both guys stared down at Luke's pretty carpet for a few seconds.

"What do you want Kevin?"

"Yeah...uhhh...about that. I figured...we needed to talk, ya know. About stuff."

"You mean...that word...that you threw at me...the other day?"

Kevin grimaced.

"Yes...and other stuff...more general stuff related to you...and me."

"I'm all ears, Kevin. Let's sit down."

They made their way over to Luke's sofa and slowly lowered themselves onto it.

"You see Luke...I...I come from a religious background...not crazily religious but...my dad has strong views on you people."

"Us people?" Luke said, mildly baffled.

"You know, gays, whatever. He uses that word...that one I've called you...a lot. Whenever a news report mentioned the issue, he'd rant on about it. And..."

Luke leaned in.

"And what...?"

"It...really...affected me."

Luke suddenly felt vindicated.

"Affected, huh. Affected how?"

Kevin's head was thoroughly down.

"Because...I...I've never felt that I'm...acey straight, or whatever it was you said..."

Luke sighed.

"Kevin. Finally."

Kevin suddenly raised his head.

"I always suspected it, dude. And seeing you on the side of that parade, with those nutjobs. Hurling the 'f' word at me on multiple occasions...I'm glad you can talk about it at last. Wanna tell me more?"

"Yeah..I mean...yeah. Back in those days, me and you...when we got drunk together, fooled around...I always had a desire to...fool around more...if you know what I'm saying."

Luke's eyes widened.

"But..my dad...my background. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't even give the slightest impression that I desired it. And that hurt. Maybe it explains my behaviour...I dunno."

An arm came to rest on Kevin's shoulder.

"Man...I thought my parents were pricks about me coming out. But...man..."

"And my life...I've pretended to be this jock. This tough guy, who hates anyone different to me...it's just so..."

Then the sobbing began.

"Kevin, Kevin...it's okay..."

Luke wrapped both of his arms around Kevin.

Then it happened. It really happened.

Kevin moved his head so that his face was against Luke's.

He went for it.

He decided to fulfil his desires.

He kissed him.


	6. Clarifications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of a sudden, things make sense.

They broke apart.

Their lips were wet with each other's saliva.

Neither could quite believe what just happened. But they had both wanted it for years. The shock of it finally happening was immense.

But they barely thought about that before they went back in.

Lips locked together. Hands all over each other.

Kevin decided to go for it.

His hands reached the top of Luke's jeans. Luke did not even think about resisting.

Within seconds, Kevin's were off too. As were their shirts, shoes, socks...

But not their underwear. Not yet at least.

Luke grabbed Kevin's hand and led him to his bedroom. They hadn't said a word to each other in at least two minutes. But, of course, they didn't need to.

Onto the soft, cosy bed, they embraced each other again. Kevin kissed all over Luke's neck before making his way to the hairy chest.

Both men had boners for Guinness World Records.

They let each other go to relieve themselves. That is, to take off their last remaining bit of covering.

Both now naked, Luke decided to speak up.

"In the second drawer on the left."

Kevin, despite not being any kind of intellectual, knew instantly what he meant.

He opened the drawer to find a bunch of condoms and a bottle of lube.

On went a condom, covering the vast majority of his eight inches. Seconds later, some lube was provided all over.

Luke was already in position. There wasn't even a question that he was going to bottom. His Grindr profile read "Vers bottom", although the truth was it had been years since he'd topped. Noah was probably the guy he'd fucked the highest proportion of the time, but even that accounted for a small minority of their sessions.

Kevin climbed onto the king size bed. Luke was lying on his back, his own seven inches as horny as fuck. Kevin grabbed both of his legs and rested them over his shoulders.

"Prepare me" said Luke, as he handed him the lube bottle again. Kevin poured some over his hands and went made his way towards Luke's opening. He first inserted a lubed-up index, going around an inch and a half into Luke's throbbing, smooth hole. He went back and forth, finger fucking his buddy, loosening him up. His middle finger soon followed.

Kevin continued his finger fucking for a couple of minutes, until his dick told him that he couldn't wait any longer.

He took his dick in his hand, slowly aiming for Luke's lubed up pucker. 

In went the tip, then the entire head, then several inches of it. Luke let out a groin, one of happiness as opposed to pain. He'd been here too many times before for a groin of pain.

Luke placed his own hands on Kevin's butt to encourage him, but there was really no need.

Kevin swiftly began to pound back and forth.

"Oh yeaaah, baby, fuck me. Fuck my tight hole."

Kevin, quiet until this point, decided to bait him.

"Oh yeah, you love this don't you Snyder. My manly cock in your big ass."

Sweat was pouring.

The heat was becoming intense.

Kevin climaxed. A huge amount of cum went deep into Luke's butt.

They sighed, they tried to get their breathing back to normal. Kevin collapsed beside Luke on his back, smiling with joy.

"You're so much better than any girl I've had, Luke."

Luke suddenly decided to become mischievous.

"You really like me huh? Prove it."

Kevin burst out with a brief laugh. 

"As in me fucking you? I think that might have happened in the not so distant past."

"No. Look down there." Luke pointed to his well fucked ass, still loaded with hot white stuff.

"Someone needs to clean it."

Kevin hesitated. He never imagined Luke as being anything other than a stereotypical gay - that is, a bottom. Certainly this fitted in with their time, many years ago, as friends. Luke would do just about anything for Kevin, such as the memorable occasion when he rubbed his back.

But he'd already come (ho ho ho) this far, so why stop now?

Kevin made his way towards Luke's ass, opened it up with his hands, and licked up as much of his own stuff as he could from the hole. 

He'd never tasted his own cum before, after all that was such a gay thing to do...

While in the process of doing this, they were rudely interrupted.

By the recognizable sound of Luke's ringtone.

Luke reluctantly decided to answer, not looking at whatever name or number was on the screen so as to create further suspense.

"Hello?"

"Hello Luke, it's Noah. Long time no speak. Is NYC still treating you well?"

Luke glanced over at Kevin, who had finished his 'job' and was now lovingly looking at Luke.

Luke turned towards the ceiling.

He wryly smiled and rolled his eyes...


End file.
